I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize