I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
