I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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