She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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