I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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