Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
