I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I will pee on everything he values.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
