"it" just moved
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
