Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
