8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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