I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
