Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
