pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
