"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No subtext here. People are naked.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
