awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
try to milk me bitch
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