y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
