i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i now understand why vodka
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
