I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
