I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't notice because vodka
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
