So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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