She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
