the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
