ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
