She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Your topless pictures make me question reality
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
