So drunk its hurt
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We need to rekindle our bromance
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize