Welp...herpes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
