I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
