Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
