I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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