I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
