your room smells of hookers.
And success
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
