The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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