i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
