Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
