Im at strip club and am horny
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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