btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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