the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
