so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
