she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
