Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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