so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize