I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
