Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
