hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
