u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
