we made out on top of his cat.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
