I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
