Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
