didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
