dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
