he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
