My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
