So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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