4 words: hood of his car
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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