Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
