I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
