I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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