I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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