oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this beer tastes like vomit already
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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