dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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