you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
