They should really pass out barf bags in church
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
