I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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